Why do girlfriends have to make their boyfriends jealous? I understand it makes you feel better and reassures you that we like you, but in the end when your single, think about what you did.

I have a politics class on the fourth floor of the building and yesterday, I was taking the elevator to class because I don’t feel like hiking up four flights of stairs.  When the elevator reached the second floor, it stopped and some girl gets on.  The thing that happened next pissed me off to no end.  She hits the button for the third floor!!! She was on the second floor!!! One flight of stairs, really?  is that too much for you, you lazy sack of shit???  Some people…

cant stand mirror pictures i mean how fuckin full of yourself do you have to be to get dressed up in your best clothes and take a fuckin pictur of yourself. Do you not have friends to take a picture for you? no cuz your a dead faggot if you take mirror pictures.

ps. dont do it you dueshes

im fucking dying over here and you just tell me its a virus. give me something lady i cant take this any longer

I’m pretty sure they’re all into bangin’ relatives. You come from a country that’s a perfectly good copy of America, why then do you insist on speaking French? And guess what, you can vacation to places besides New England! Seriously! There’s like, a whole world full of other places to go! Fuckin’ canucks. And tell your females to shave their armpits and smoke less.

i fuckin hate when assholes tell you your vent is the shit but then they give you ones just  to fuck with you. dont be a doueshe and give a one

fohawks are wack there for pussy guidos who dont have the sack to do a full mohawk. go throw on your ed hardy shirt and gell your fohawk up so you can look like a million other faggs

I hate Irish people.  They always smell like potatoes and guiness.  Why are you guys always drunk? And i hate your red hair and fair skin, I don’t think there’s an uglier group of people.  All irish women pop out kids like a fucking pezz dispenser; close your legs, dammit. That’s just what we need right now, more of those ugly, drunk, ginger little micks running around. What’s with you pussies? You fags just can’t keep your lips off the blarney stone. Go eat some corned beef and cabbage, wash it down with some jack daniels ya fuckin leprechauns.  Shove a sheleighly up your ass and go back to that rainy, depressing country of yours.  And I’m out

I hate Italian people.  I hate how they butcher their own language and make up words and shit.  Italians are so goofy.  They all think they are in the mob, which obviously doesn’t exist.  Don’t get me started on guidos… those sorry sorry excuses for males. Wash the gel out of your hair and cover up that wife beater, faggot.  Italian food is so disgusting, everything smells like shit and probably tastes even worse.  The food is so nauseating, but somehow all of you people are still fat as shit, lay off the prosciutto and provolone.  All of the women have mustaches and smell like fish sticks.  Go stick a connoli up your ass or some gobagool or something you guinea pricks.  Hahahahaha

you go to an ice cream shop and a big jacked guy is infront of you and the pussy gets rainbow sprinkle. if your a dude and you get rainbow sprinkles you are gay no questions asked

i hate when bitches are sick and they still want to hook up. like fuck that im not tryin to catch your flu walk away from me

i hate these bullshit glitches in video games that all these nerds know about and use it to help them win. i was playing mario kart and this kid drives out of bounds and ends up at the finish line, bull shit. get a life and quit studying these little games

We rolled up to a party last night about 15 deep, and we were all having a good time until the one girl started acting really drunk. This bitch only had 3 shots, so I was like either your an ultra light weight, or your just trying to be cool. We all knew she was trying to be cool, so she isn’t chillen with us anymore.

Yeah, its the Big Dogg back with a fatter buddha sack and im here to give you shmucks another one. MY face is burning like chlamydia. Did anyone ever think that perhaps they should put a big ass warning on hair removal bottles saying “THIS IS NOT SHAVING CREAM” Holy FUCK it feels like rubbing mineral ice on your balls. (ive done that too)

I was playing Apples to Apples with some people the first week of college and an asian girl got the card that said China on it.  She said “Yay, China!” so I asked her if she was from China.  She just got red and looked at me awkwardly.  Then another girl (who wasn’t asian) said “Why would you say that, you didn’t ask if I was from China?”.  Seriously?  

Coincedentally, I saw the same girl again a couple weeks later, forgot I had met her, and thought she was someone else.  When she told me she wasn’t who I thought, I said she looked like that person.  Of course, she assumed it was because they were both asian and got red and just stared blankly at me again.  She was with the same girl again, and the girl got all PC police on me and said “What are you talking about, they don’t look anything alike!”  

I mean I’m not racist or anything, but come on…. people like that just piss me off.

So Ive been going out with this girl for a while. Anyway we both went to different college. Ive been suspicious of her recently that somethings been up. I decided to go surprise her at college and visit her because I haven’t seen her in a while, and our schools are like 2 hours apart. Anyway, although she tells me shes been good, I caught her hooking up with another guy. Instead of being the jerk off who cares, I just left and won’t answer any of her phone calls anymore. Fuck that bitch!!!

You know what I hate more than anything? When your computer crashes and your notes for the test and other work is GONE.

This F UCKING  SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck puddles, they are useless. It amazes me that the earth always finds a way to contort perfectly to create a giant moat around you when your walking and then you either end up stepping in the puddle or backing up like an idiot to walk all around the water.

how come every time im getting my hair cut, a hair has to fall into the worst place and cause me an itch. and its like i get edward scissor hands over me clippin away, if i make any sudden movements, im gonna be half bald. so i sit their enduring this terrible itch that i cant do anything about. even if i wanted to scratch my face to relieve the itch i couldn’t because i’m in lockdown mode under the apron.  these panic attack-inducing itches suck ass

I am so pissed at my friend!!!! She is having her wedding on my birthday and asked me to be  one of her bridesmaids. Not only is she going to ruin my thirtieth birthday, she is preventing me from going away for a week, somewhere exotic, like I always dreamed I would do for my 3oth. I really, really hate her for this!

a company will keep you on hold, longer than necessary, in order to sell you more shit that you don’t need. It’s fu*king annoying and no one has time to be left on hold anyway!  “CUSTOMER SERVICE,” means to service the customer as quickly and efficiently as possible!

There’s nothing I hate more than community service. Why do I have to go out and help under privileged kids and plant trees and shit like that? It pisses me off

all you girls need to here this. its not cool to block the cock. your friend is talking to me because she wants to and is feeling it, you coming over and being the third wheel isnt doing shit for anyone. end of story, let your friend make her own decisions. especially if her decision is to blow me.

It sucks when your at a party and your talking to this real hott girl, who is older, and is really into you. Your about to seal the deal and your friends leave so you have to go. Why the fuck can’t they stay 5 more minutes so i cant seal the deal.

Whats the point of giving people nicknames that have no meaning for the person. I mean nicknames aren’t horrible if they actually represent the person, but seriously before you give someone a nickname make sure it actually describes them.